NERF HERDER - NERF HERDER (1996)
Down on Haley, Haley Street
Where the drugs are easy and the sex is cheap
You never know just who you'll meet on Haley
Crack Dealer looks out his door
Winks his eye and waves to his whore
She don't wanna turn tricks anymore on Haley
You don't have to ride the straight and narrow
As long as you drive up in a Camaro
Tattoo Parlor why don't you hang out
Let em show you what it's all about
We're gonna help you work it on out on Haley
Don't need no license don't need no subpoena
You can hook up with your favorite Gina
Makin' fun if you know what I mean on Haley
You don't have to ride the straight and narrow
As long as you drive up in a Camaro
Goin' down down down down .... on Haley
Goin' down down down down .... on Haley
Goin' down down down down .... on Haley
Goin' down down down down .... on Haley
I'm not the one you dream about
And I'm not the one who you can't live without
I'm not the one you wanna see
I'm not the one who you want to be seen with
But when you're tired of all the jerks
And you're tired of all the work
And you're tired of being hurt
You will long for the comfort of my Golf shirt
I'm not the one who was an old time punk rocker
I was listening to Rush and trying to feather my hair back
When all that stuff went down
I'm not the one who was in a high school hardcore band
I sat in my room, scoring with Ms. Pac-Man
But when you're tired of all the jerks
And you're tired of all the work
And you're tired of being hurt
You will long for the comfort of my golfshirt
No tats, no piercings
No hats, no grunge beard baby, yeah
No tats, no piercings
No hats, no grunge beard baby, yeah
No tats, no piercings
No hats, no grunge beard baby, yeah
Yeah, oh yeah
Sorry we broke up, sorry I missed you
Sorry I wanted only to kiss you
Sorry I promised to love you forever
Made you feel guilty, oh when you left me
Sorry I showed up at your party
Sorry I drank up all the Bacardi
Sorry I puked up on your bedspread
Sorry I wanted to be your boyfriend again
What can I do?
It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over
What can I do? I am the loser
Sorry I saw you and I heard birds sing
Sorry I touched you and I heard bells ring
Sorry I jacked off outside of your window
While you were sleeping
I thought you'd never know
Sorry I showed up at your wedding
Sorry I tried so hard to get in
Sorry I screwed up your picture
Sorry I had sex with your sister
What can I do?
It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over
What can I do? I am the loser
Sorry we broke up, sorry I missed you
Sorry I wanted only to kiss you
Sorry I promised to love you forever
Made you feel guilty, oh when you left me
Sorry I showed up at your dinner
Sorry I said those things to your father
Sorry I crashed through your window on acid
Sorry I made a mess, sorry I bled to death
What can I do?
It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over
What can I do? I am the loser, I am the loser
What can I do?
It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over
What can I do? I am the loser
Yeah she, she's bustin' out
Put the suitcase in the Pinto
And get the hell out of Ohio
She gets on that great highway
Doesn't wanna' be anywhere
She's an easy mark o-ho, o-ho, o-ho
She's an easy mark o-ho
Yeah he, he's got a master plan
Yeah he's gonna make a fortune
Panning gold out of a bottle of Goldschlager
Shot by shot by shot
He gets on that great highway
Doesn't wanna' be anywhere
He's an easy mark o-ho, o-ho, o-ho
He's an easy mark
She lays down in the grass
On Strawberry Hill
He is there, smelling like nicotine and peanut butter
Ya' gotta' love her
Yeah she, she doesn't wanna' change this time
There's a hunger in her soul
For tater-tot casserole, with the crispy on the outside
She gets on that great highway
Doesn't wanna' be anywhere
She's an easy mark o-ho, o-ho, o-ho
She's an easy mark o-ho
I hate this world, this stupid world, this screwed-up world
I hate this world, this fucking world
I bought Van Halen One
It was the best damn record I ever owned
TG&Y, 1978
Two hand tapping guitar technique really got me off
Eruption, yeah
Ain't talkin' 'bout love, I'm on fire
Tomorrow may come, tomorrow may never come
Can't you hear Jamie cryin'?
She's runnin' with the devil, oh lord, oh lord
I bought Women and Children First
Fair Warning and Van Halen Two
Dance the night away
1984 was my favorite record, yeah, I wore it down
Might as well jump, might as well jump
Tomorrow may come, tomorrow may never come
Can't you hear Jamie cryin'?
She's runnin' with the devil, oh lord, oh lord
Is this what you wanted? Sammy Hagar?
Sammy Hagar? Is this what you wanted, man?
Dave lost his hairline, but you lost your cool, buddy
Can't drive 55, I'll never buy your lousy records again
Again, again, again, never again, no, no, no
Tomorrow may come, tomorrow may never come
Can't you hear Jamie cryin'?
she's runnin' with the devil, oh lord, oh lord
Jump jump jump jump jump jump jump, might as well jump
Jump jump jump jump jump jump jump, might as well jump
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
I saw her at the club
She was standing with a french girl
Bonsoir joulie poupe'e
Yeah she had a beautiful smile
And they met at face to face
Went back to his place
And she sat on his face
And now it's history
The rest is history
She sat on his face
And the rest is history
That's why, he cried
He lost, he lost everything
That's why, he cried
He lost it all
He lost it all to Diana
Diana
Part German
Part Hispanic
Diana, Filipino
Diana where did you go?
I saw her downtown
She was hanging with the cougar
She was hanging out with Steve
And that was where she wanted to be
She was workin' at the place
Where they sell veal parmagian
Now she's gone
Now she's gone
Yeah, she's gone. oh so gone
That's why, he cried
He lost he lost everything
That's why, he cried
He lost it all
He lost it all to Diana
Diana
Part German
Part Hispanic
Diana, Filipino
Diana where did you go?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Diana
I, I met a girl
She was standing on the dance floor of the club
She was a very very pretty girl
So I went up and talked to her
And when you share your thoughts with someone
You feel close to them
Nosering Girl, I love you
Nosering Girl, I want you I want you I want you
Nosering Girl, I love you
Nosering Girl, I want you I want you I want you
Yeah, she had pretty hair and beautiful eyes
And a dalmation jacket, dalmation jacket
And she was the kind of girl who you would give up eating meat for
No more salami, no more steak or potatoes
Yeah you would walk on down to the health food store and
Buy hummus
And tabouli
And babaganoush
And rice cakes, rice cakes, rice cakes
Nosering Girl, I love you
Nosering Girl, I want you I want you I want you
Nosering Girl, I love you
Nosering Girl, I want you I want you I want you
As it turns out
She was the cousin of the ex-girlfriend of my good friend Steve
My very good friend Steve
But she didn't like me
She said I was a drunkard
An alcoholic
A weirdo
A freak
A freak?
Nosering
Nosering Girl, I love you
Nosering Girl, I want you I want you I want you
Nosering Girl, I love you
Nosering Girl, I want you I want you I want you
I want you I want you I want you
I want you I want you I want you
I want you I want you I want you
I want you I want you I want you
I want you I want you I want you
I want you I want you I want you
Wearing flash pants and her street walker shoes
Walkin downtown with a pocket full of blues
She's the one you want so much
She's the one you can, you can never touch
Here comes Annalee
AnnaLee yeah
Here comes Annalee
Standing on the corner you see her cuttin a deal
Windows rolled down you can't believe she's for real
She's the one it ain't no joke
She's got lips, lips just like cherry Coke
Here comes Annalee
AnnaLee yeah
Here comes Annalee
AnnaLee yeah
Here comes Annalee
AnnaLee yeah
AnnaLee yeah
AnnaLee yeah
I got my mind set...
Got a new job at a radio station
But that won't help you at all
40,000 watts of maximum rock
But that won't help you at all
You think you've got everything but I've got news for you
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
You got a new girlfriend, a bitchin' new girlfriend
But she won't help you at all
Said I'd fight with the scene
She's a local rock queen
But that won't help you at all
You think that you've got it made but you've made one mistake
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
The free paper calls you a local celebrity
But that won't help you at all
You're such a big big deal you get in the clubs for free
But that won't help you at all
You think you've got everything but I've got news for you
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
You're gonna be the one who's sorry, yeah
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
You're gonna be the one who's sorry
Ohhhh
I, I don't kill
And I don't murder
Or manufacture atomic weapons
And I don't eat meat
And I don't eat vegetables
No no no
Cuz I only eat candy
Oh oh oh, I only eat sweets
Yeah I only eat candy my friend oh oh oh
I only eat candy
I, I don't believe
No I don't believe in your corny old Jesus
And I don't worship Satan
No, not like Charlie and Steve
No no no
Cuz I only eat candy
Oh oh oh, I only eat sweets
Yeah I only eat candy my friend
Yeah I, I only eat candy
Yeah
I'm angry! [ Secret backwards message! ] Ahhh
Cuz I only eat candy
Oh oh oh, I only eat sweets
Yes I only eat candy my good friend
Oh I only eat candy
Yeah
The longest line