CRASH TEST DUMMIES - GOD SHUFFLED HIS FEET (1993)
After seven days He was quite tired, so God said:
"Let there be a day, just for picnics with wine and bread"
He gathered up some people he had made, created blankets and laid back in the shade
The people sipped their wine and what with God there, they asked him questions
Like, "Do you have to eat or get your hair cut in heaven?"
"And if your eye got poked out in this life would it be waiting up in heaven with your wife?"
God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him
So He said: "Once there was a boy who woke up with blue hair to him it was a joy
Until he ran out into warm air - He thought of how his friends would come to see
And would they laugh, or had he got some strange disease?"
God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him
The people sat waiting out on their blankets in the garden but God said nothing
So someone asked him, "I beg your pardon"
"I'm not quite clear about what you just spoke - was that a parable, or a very subtle joke?"
God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him
What is it that makes me just a little bit queasy?
There's a breeze that makes my breathing not so easy
I've had my lungs checked out with X rays, I've smelled the hospital hallways
Someday I'll have a disappearing hairline, someday I'll wear pyjamas in the daytime
Times when the day is like a play by Sartre, when it seems a bookburning's in perfect order
I gave the doctor my description, I tried to stick to my prescriptions
Someday I'll have a disappearing hairline, someday I'll wear pyjamas in the daytime
Afternoons will be measured out, measured out, measured with
Coffeespoons and T.S. Eliot
Maybe if I could do a play-by-playback I could change the test results that I will get back
I've watched the summer evenings pass by, I've heard the rattle in my bronchi
Someday I'll have a disappearing hairline, someday I'll wear pyjamas in the daytime
Afternoons will be measured out, measured out, measured with
Coffeespoons and T.S. Eliot
Afternoons will be measured out, measured out, measured with
Coffeespoons and T.S. Eliot
Once there was this kid who got into an accident and couldn't come to school
But when he finally came back his hair had turned from black into bright white
He said that it was from when the cars had smashed so hard
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
Once there was this girl who wouldn't go and change with the girls in the change room
And when they finally made her they saw birthmarks all over her body
She couldn't quite explain it they'd always just been there
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
But both girl and boy were glad 'cause one kid had it worse than that
'Cause then there was this boy whose parents made him come directly home right after school
And when they went to their church they shook and lurched all over the church floor
He couldn't quite explain it they'd always just gone there
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
When you go on camping trips you're stuck right out in nature
Foraging the forests like a primate, using sharpened tools instead of hotplates
Your thumb and forefinger supposed to show you're not a wild beast
You can hear their noises at the night time, they don't have to keep a certain bedtime
See in the shapes of my body leftover parts from the apes and monkeys
Sometimes when I lie awake I hear the rainfall on my tent fly
I think of all the insects that are sleeping and wonder if the animals are dreaming
See in the shapes of my body leftover parts from the apes and monkeys
In the days of the caveman and mammoths and glaciers
Bugs and trees were your food then, no pyjamas or doctors
And when I finally get to sleep, I dream in technicolors
I see creatures come back from the Ice Age, alive and being fed inside a zoo cage
See in the shapes of my body leftover parts from the apes and monkeys
In the days of the caveman and mammoths and glaciers
Bugs and trees were your food then, no pyjamas or doctors
In the days of the caveman and mammoths and glaciers
Bugs and trees were your food then, no pyjamas or doctors
When I'm sampling from your bosom sometimes I suffer from distractions like
Why does God cause things like tornadoes and train wrecks?
When I'm swimming in, when I'm swimming in your ocean floating aloft on creams
An scented lotions, I can get pretty side-tracked, I hope you'll understand
When I kneel before your bounty sometimes I wonder if there could be really
UFO's that come from other planets
When I'm swimming in, when I'm swimming in your ocean floating aloft on creams
An scented lotions, I can get pretty side-tracked, I hope you'll understand
And when you let me taste your fingers, I take them like fruit and as I linger I
Wonder if my seed will find purchase in your soil
When I'm swimming in, when I'm swimming in your ocean floating aloft on creams
An scented lotions, I can get pretty side-tracked, I hope you'll understand
My doctor told me that it was time for me to have my X rays
Of course, I had many nightmares about that fatal day
The room was dark and my skeleton was floating on the wall
My voice trembles down inside me, I'm trapped way down in my body
I, I, I, oh here I stand before me but something's out of place here
My mind's eye is missing from my body, well I know it's there but I can't see where
Well take my fingers, what do fingers really mean to me?
You can easily look them up in the dictionary
They call them digits, or technically they're known as the "philanges"
My joints connected up inside me, way down deep inside my body
I, I, I, oh here I stand before me but something's out of place here
My mind's eye is missing from my body, well I know it's there but I can't see where
My bones shine brightly, a map of my whole body, my vital organs just churn away inside me
Some day they're going to stop this motion and I'll be left with
My my, the future lay before me, hey hey, deep inside my body
I, I, I, oh here I stand before me but something's out of place here
My mind's eye is missing from my body, well I know it's there but I can't see where
I can stand and stare, but I can't see where
Running into you like this without warning is like catching a sniff of tequila in the morning
But I'll try, I'll try to keep my food down
That's quite an after-taste that you've left now that you're not around
You can just pretend we're not in the same room, well, alright, I'll just mosey to the bathroom
You flew by like a summer vacation and you left me with TV-movies and a messy kitchen
I think I'll disappear now, slip out sideways just for awhile
But until then I'll stay in and sleep late, excuse me
I'll buy a fast car, I'll drive fast from here
There's a beach I haven't seen since last year - it's far, but I like night drive
It just makes it nicer when I do arrive
I think I'll disappear now, slip out sideways just for awhile
But until then I'll stay in and sleep late, excuse me
Aren't you going to miss me?
Aren't you going to even say one thing to me anymore?
Well, you can bet that I'll forget how it was then
All the drives to your farm for the weekend
But I've seen the swimsuit magazines
And I've smelled tequila the first thing in the morning
I think I'll disappear now, slip out sideways just for awhile
But until then I'll stay in and sleep late, excuse me
Aren't you going to miss me?
Aren't you going to even say one thing to me anymore?
You are years away from me, aren't you going to even say one thing to me anymore?
One thing to me anymore
How does a duck know what direction south is?
And how to tell his wife from all the other ducks?
You can cut a chicken's head off and it will keep on running and twitching
When everything seems planned out, when everything seems nicely planned out
Well the human race will come and smack your face
How come all my body parts so nicely fit together?
All my organs doing their jobs, no help from me!
A person pulls a spider's leg out to watch it keep on moving and twitching
When everything seems planned out, when everything seems nicely planned out
Well the human race will come and smack your face
Satan lives here: on grain and earth, rain and air
How come I just smoke and smoke and smoke and curse every butt I spit out?
All night long I grind my teeth and I wake up when I cough
You can put me in an iron lung and I will keep on breathing and twitching
When everything seems planned out, when everything seems nicely planned out
Well the human race will come and smack your face
You might be there, gonna keep your head
When I go out with artists they talk about language and the cubists and the dadaist
And I try to catch their meanings and keep up with all of the martinis
I don't know which should be my favorite paintings
If I could see, if I could see, if I could see all the symbols, unlock what they mean
Maybe I could, maybe I could, maybe I could meet the artists and get to know them personally
If I were David Byrne I'd go to galleries and not be too concerned
Well I would have a cup of coffee and I'd find my surroundings quite amusing
And people would ask me which were my favorite paintings
If I could see, if I could see, if I could see all the symbols, unlock what they mean
Maybe I could, maybe I could, maybe I could meet the artists and get to know them personally
What if the artists ran the TV, all the ads would be for fine scotch whiskey
Glenfiddich, Glenlivet, the whole single malt family
The artists of the future will make up new things and different nomenclatures
And they'll stand amongst their pictures and they'll sing and laugh and quote from scriptures
And when they go home they'll dream of brilliant paintings
If I could see, if I could see, if I could see all the symbols, unlock what they mean
Maybe I could, maybe I could, maybe I could meet the artists and get to know them personally
If I could see, if I could see, if I could see all the symbols, unlock what they mean
Maybe I could, maybe I could, maybe I could meet the artists and get to know them personally
She knows the future like the palm in your hand, she knows your past like the lay of the land
The first time she met me she saw right through me, some cards and a cane in her hand
And she said, all the years that have come to pass and all the years that shall be
I see here right before me
She said her visions were a bane in her life, she could not control them, they kept her up nights
I know what you're thinking, I haven't been drinking, She knew things that cut like a knife
And she said, all the years that have come to pass and all the years that shall be
I see here right before me
Will there be earthquakes and great tidal waves, can she see back to the dinosaur days?
How can she foresee just by squinting at me and can she see me naked in her mind's eye?
What does she think when she foretells a disease, would she keep it a secret if death stood before me?
What could some cards hold, where is her foothold, can I escape what she sees?
And she said, all the years that have come to pass and all the years that shall be
I see here right before me, I see here before me
Once there were two knights and maidens
They'd walk together out in the gardens in all kinds of weather
The knights always pestered the maidens to love them together out in the garden
And they could watch each other
The maidens had other plans for the two knights
They'd give them potions and make them see dreams and lights
The knights took the potions gladly, they laughed at their visions
But outside the garden tigers smelled them together
The maidens had other plans for the two knights
They'd give them potions and make them see dreams and lights
The knights only laughed at the tigers
Thought they were visions out in the garden
The maidens watched them together
Ah but for the two knights
Ah but for the maidens who gave them dreams and lights
Instrumental